


Criminal Minds Reader Imagine: You're Gonna Be Okay

by ilithiyarys



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Recovery, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 19:57:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12614268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilithiyarys/pseuds/ilithiyarys
Summary: Imagine you're a new FBI agent, close to JJ, Prentiss, and Alvez that had been kidnapped & tortured weeks ago. It's your first day back at work, and your colleagues notice you've been showing signs of PTSD and do their best to comfort you.





	Criminal Minds Reader Imagine: You're Gonna Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I've just been thinking about a lot of ideas that's been on my mind and what better way to do it than to write fics right? Anyway, I didn't intend for it to be this long… But the story just kept writing itself. It's cool. I hope you like it. Also a disclaimer: I have no clue how to write PTSD. I kinda just wrote this based on what I'd heard about and seen on TV… I'm sorry if I didn't do it justice.

You walk through the doors of the BAU, cautiously making your way to the break room. It's been an exhausting couple of weeks; the recurring nightmares, the couple hours of sleep every night, the paranoia that someone is waiting to take you again. That someone wants to hurt you again.  

You desperately want to talk to someone, but you just can't… You don't want to bother others with the crazy crap that floats around in your head all day and night. So you don't. 

However, you notice a certain blonde waiting outside the door. She waits for everyone to clear out before she begins to speak. 

"Hey, welcome back, Y/N. How are you holding up?" She asks. 

"I'm fine," You insist. She nods, yet gives you a slightly doubtful look, as she walks toward you. "You sure?" she asks again. You just nod your head. "I'm sure, JJ. Thanks for asking. I appreciate it." 

The blonde cracks a tiny half-smile. "You know I'm always here if you want to talk, Y/N." She consoles, giving you a pat on the shoulder as she walks out of the break room.  _She only means well,_ you tell yourself.  

You head over to the bathroom to use the sink. You reach for the tap, cupping the cold water in your hands, bringing it up to your face. You splash a little to give you a boost. You stare at yourself in the mirror for a couple of minutes before heading out to the team briefing.  

As you arrive at the round table, you notice the team observing you from all around. You nod at them, intent with the notion that you're just fine. They give you a cautious, but sincere look. As Chief Prentiss finishes her briefing, she calls you aside. "Agent Y/L/N, welcome back," she formally greets, shaking your hand. "How are you this morning?" 

"I'm fine, Chief Prentiss," you insist.  

"You sure Y/N?"  she asks. She'd called you by your first name this time.  

You'd gotten close with Emily, JJ and Luke after the incident. They've been like older, protective siblings to you, since you're the youngest on the team. 

"Yeah, Em, I'm good." You respond. You begin feeling uncomfortable, as she begins to look at you with the intention of talking about what had happened a couple weeks again. Your heart races at the thought of it; your palms becoming clammy. "Um… I'm sorry, I have work to do. Please excuse me," You say, exiting the room as fast as possible. 

You go back to your desk, going over various reports. You can feel peeling eyes observing you at your workstation, but right now, you just want to be alone.  

It would be selfish to say that no one else knows what you're going through; everyone has had their fair share of battle scars, wounds and experiences. But you can't help but shake that they don't know what you've been through, what you're going through, or the nightmares that plague your mind, causing you to lose hours of perfectly good sleep, every single night.  

They don't know what's going on. 

 _Maybe that's the problem_ , you muse.  _Maybe it's me._  

You continue going through the victims' files when you flip to photos of a shed, reminding you of the shed you were held captive in.  

Something goes off in your mind; a red flag. Every little detail begins to flood into your head: The drugs that knocked you out. The darkness that followed. More drugs because the last dose wore off. Waking up chained to the ceiling. The aching pain running down your spine because of the pressure coming from hanging by your wrists over your head. Your captor, wearing a mask to seal his identity. The constant questions, forcing you to give up the location of a woman and a child you'd put in witness protection. Your hard-headedness, unwilling to give up one of your closest friends and your agency. And then taking the beatings… Blow after blow after blow. The numbness in your face. The anger coursing through your veins.  

Then the blood… And… And… The knife…  

Before you know it, you're hyperventilating, having trouble catching your breath. Worried that you'd make a scene, you rush to the locker room, hoping no one else would be in there. You sit on the bench, hugging your knees, rocking back and forth. 

JJ suddenly rushes to you, wrapping her arms around you. "You're safe, Y/N! You're safe. I'm right here, okay? You're safe here." 

Tears form in your eyes as you wrap your hands on the back of your neck, leaning over. You're experiencing what might possibly be the worst panic attack of your life, but you need to get this off your chest. JJ knows you're ready to talk, and you oblige. You try to calm yourself down a little before speaking up, and she listens intently. 

"He tried to make me give up their location," You angrily clench your jaw at the memory. "He… He kept punching me until I would pass out, to my face and stomach… I thought that was the worst of it but it was just the first of it. Then he'd… He'd taunt me with the knife, slicing into my skin if I didn't give them up. He wanted their aliases… Address… Where they lived… I just couldn't do it, JJ… I wouldn't." 

She quietly interjected. "You were doing your job, Y/N. You were protecting Lindsay and her daughter." But you shake your head ashamedly. "Did I? You don't know what happened in that shed, JJ… The things that were going through my head… The thoughts I had…" 

"I'll try to understand," she insists. You feel terrible because you know JJ's been kidnapped and tortured before. 

You let out a pained sigh before speaking again. 

"In a moment of selfishness, I almost gave up them up… I wanted the pain to stop. It was excruciating… He was losing his patience with me. So he'd take the tip of the knife, and twist it into my skin to speed things up. If you hadn't come when you did…" 

She nods at the memory. JJ had been there with Emily and Luke leading the rescue strike with the rest of the team.  

You go back to that moment as well. They'd burst through the doors when your captor quickly slid behind you as a shield, placing the knife at your throat. You were certain that was going to be it. 

* * *

 

 _"Take another step and her blood will be all over this damn shed!" He shouts, gripping your body tightly as a shield._  

 _Emily holstered her weapon, raising her hands defensively. "Easy! We just want to help. Just put the knife down,"  She reasons. Your captor doesn't budge. "Not until you give me Lindsay's location! She needs to pay for what she did to me!" He tightens his grip around you, and you feel the edge of the knife pressing against your skin._  

 _"Stop! Hold on, look, we can't fix what had already been done. But don't make your life any worse by killing Agent Y/L/N! The damage has been done okay, but if you kill Y/L/N, we will put a bullet in your head. Don't make this any harder, we can work something out. Just put the knife down."_  

 _Suddenly his grip on you loosens. He releases the knife from your neck and you let out a breath you didn't think you were holding._  

 _Then out of nowhere, a rage builds up, and he screams before plunging the knife into your side. "No!" the simultaneously scream as JJ, Emily and Luke all take a shot at your captor, putting him down. They rush to your side, taking you down from the ceiling. The medics are on standby, taking over as soon as Luke and Emily get you down._  

 _"Hang in there, Y/N, you're gonna be fine. Stay with us!"_  

* * *

 

That was the last thing you remembered before slipping into unconsciousness. You woke up five days later in a hospital hooked up to a ventilator, in the middle of the night to the three of them uncomfortably sleeping in folding chairs, waiting for you to wake up.  

JJ noticed that you'd slipped into the memory again, so she breaks the silence, going back to what you'd said before.  

"I know what you're going through, Y/N, believe me. I've been through it. I've lived through the hell that came after. We all have our selfish moments, Y/N. We're human; it's natural. But you're a trained professional. You kept her secret, and you did your job. Our job isn't easy, and these things are an occupational hazard… It comes with the job. But in the end… You did what you had to do. You protected Lindsay and Cassie. You didn't let him win. That kind of service doesn't go unaccounted for, Y/N. You're a freakin' hero."  

She pauses to rub your shoulder.  

"Everyone else may not have gone through the things you had that night, but you should know that we're all here for you. You don't have to go through this alone. If you need to talk, Y/N, we're all right here for you... I'm here for you. I know it's difficult to process what we've been through, especially something traumatic like this. But if you, at any moment, begin to feel overwhelmed, panicked, scared, or helpless, we will come to help you through it the best we can. You will pull through. I mean, you already have, cause you're here. You're breathing, and you're alive. That's a victory isn't it?" 

She smiles reassuringly, rubbing your arm. You wipe the last of the tears from your eyes, nodding.  

"Thanks, JJ. I needed to hear that today." 

 


End file.
